Must. Get. More. Sleep.

I've been up since 12:54am. Woke up because - brace yourselves, this is shocking - I had to pee. Much like the other 11,283 times a day. Then, as is its custom, my brain kick-started into thinking of all of the things I have to do. At least 97 things waiting for me at my desk... why can I not call anybody at 3:08am? I would be so much more productive if acceptable calling hours were between 12-9am. If only all of my clients were in, uh, Spain?

My accomplishments of the morning thus far:

*Consumption of three cups of coffee, one water bottle, one string cheese and 40 billion dry roasted peanuts.
*Prayed for a house to sell, some of you know the one. Cursed out buyers and lender in my head. Prayed again to ask for forgiveness for praying they all get hit by a bus. Prayed once more they'd all get hit by a bus.
*Mentally flogged myself for not calling my father in law on his birthday two days ago.
*Three trips to potty.
*Eyeballed enormous stack of to-do stuff, sniffled and averted my eyes.
*Procrastinated on everything work related to mindlessly read blogs and check facebook. And thank goodness I did -- I otherwise wouldn't have known that someone I knew in college was craving carbs right before she went to bed and that someone I barely remember from high school is recently tonsil-less.
*Cry a little because I'm only 20 weeks pregnant and I'm already miserable, unable to sleep and too painfully tired to do anything useful.
*Prepare myself for the crushing guilt of letting my kids watch tv all day while I try to catch up on work stuff I should be doing right now and then attempt to take a nap. That won't ever happen.
*Become disgusted with myself because of the 97 things I need to do - the very reason I cannot go back to sleep - a grand total of 0 have been and most likely will be accomplished before little people start demanding things of me.
*Bore whoever reads this with silly, over-tired drivel.
*Make that four trips to potty.

Edited to add: I tried to go back to bed around 4:30, after I read the same line 45 times. I was on the brink of sleep (brink!) when Justin released gas strong enough to shake windows. Twice. I began to ponder if one would check the "irreconcilable differences" box on the divorce request or is there a more applicable box to my situation? Then Littlest came in apparently with bubble wrap on her feet and/or carrying ball bearings in a metal pot. I played dead. She finally left and the birds started chirping outside. We've been here 6+ years and this is the only time I've ever heard chirping birds in the morning. Universe, what did I ever do to you?