So my internet has been sporadically down for days and days -- by sporadically I mean a vast majority of the time with brief teaser periods. It simply will not be revived by the sheer power of My Will. Apparently they (read with contempt) are 'upgrading' the system in my area and liken it to road construction -- horrible while happening and then ever so blissful when it's over! Um, thanks, but I was blissfully fine when my INTERNET WAS FAST AND RELIABLE. Meanwhile, while waiting for my superhighway of connectivity, I want to kill somebody (cough, in the most godly way possible, cough). Of course, all of a sudden I had so much to say! when unable to say it!
It seems to me more and more things are not influenced by the sheer (laughable non) power of My Will. Things would be so much different if I were queen of the world. Some latest things completely and totally uninfluenced by My Will:
*This blog. It acts completely oblivious to the fact that I would like it to be updated regularly. No excuses, Blog. Pledge to me you'll do better. I don't hear any pledging. PLEEEDGE!
*My scale. No matter how much I will it to produce a different number when stepping upon it, it keeps spitting back a number reminiscent of when I was 9 months pregnant. Hey, maybe I'm one of those women who doesn't know she's pregnant until suddenly in horrific pain and a baby shoots out (astounding accuracy, that). That MUST be my problem -- and no wonder I can't get pregnant, I already am! I'm sure it has nothing to do with my love affair with chocolate. And big bowls of stuff. And mountains of fried things.
*Unless I am actually unwittingly pregnant, therein lies a gigantic situation impervious to My Will.
*The grieving of my Grandma with family. There is no "official" memorial for her. There is an unofficial one, but it is not open to the public. Or grandchildren.
*My bank account. That sucker will. not. grow. Stinkin' green paper.
*A pretty pretty acre with a decent house on it has not magically been transferred into my name.
*My closet still looks like a river ran through it. Followed closely by a tornado.
*Sleep. Want. Can't.
Yes, I realize that several of these could totally be influenced by My Will if aforementioned Will was accompanied with action and/or self-control. Clearly, I don't want to talk about that minor detail.
5 comments:
Too funny! My will is having the same problem with the scale. It will not budge! What is up with that? Stupid scale.
Ah, I've missed you!
Ok, I really want to say something clever, but Miles is yelling from his bed, "Mommy, are you?????????? Are you out therrrrrrrrrrrrre?"
Oh Kristi, I feel you on so many of these.
My internet was out intermittently for the better part of two months. After having the phone company (we have DSL) come out four, yes, FOUR, times, the guy finally realized that something was wrong at the pole. Um, duh! It was maddening.
When my grandmother passed away a couple of years ago, there was no funeral. We had a "celebration of life" for her a couple of months later, but by that time we had gotten through the worst of the grieving and it felt anti-climactic. I love the idea behind it, but it should have been done differently. I can't believe grandkids (even adult ones??) can't go to your grandma's memorial.
As for that infernal scale. *sigh*
Hope your thanksgiving was lovely!
"There is an unofficial one, but it is not open to the public. Or grandchildren."
This made me very sad!!
Welcome back dear friend : ) Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. We did, and of course, it didn't do a thing for my own numbers...no scale needed , just the next size up.
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