Months ago, perhaps years? ago, my coffee maker had an incident. An incident in which the little part that is relied upon to STOP THE COFFEE when one desires to steal a cup mid-brew just up and broke. Perhaps that doesn't qualify as an 'incident' but it did change my life forever. And no, I have no idea how my girls got SO. DRAMATIC. Every morning I curse the broken steal a cup part and every morning I'm reminded that I could JUST GO BUY A NEW COFFEE MAKER. I'm prevented from doing this because really: hello spoiled American who can't wait another three minutes for coffee. And I'd rather spend my money on things like acid reducing pills. And blueberries I hog all to myself. And a gym membership I barely use.
So yesterday I was at the gym (!), walking on the treadmill. I'm nervous to do much more than that because I may, cough, not have been exercising much, cough, at all, before I got pregnant. Anyhoo, I forgot my iPod and was forced to eavesdrop on the two women next to me (I know, I know, me and my eavesdropping; please note both are completely innocent on my part). They maintained a steady stream of conversation even though they were at nearly full sprint mode. I hate them. They looked to my peripheral vision to be in their 40's and were talking about the vacations they were about to take. One to Hawaii & I missed the destination for the other one, but somewhere fancy. Obviously, I need to fine-tune my eavesdropping skills. They were talking about how these will probably be their last vacations with just their immediate families, how much they're going to cherish them... that it wouldn't be long before the kids would be getting married, and it's not that they don't WANT them to get married and eventually have kids, they're just really going to miss the "just them" dynamic of their families. There was a little bit of a sad tone to their voices.
I started crying right there on the treadmill. I cried for my mom and my mom-in-law. I pictured my kids grown and not needing me. I pictured me about to have an empty nest. I imagined me wanting to hold on, knowing I couldn't. And shouldn't. Here I am, still holding a teeny little life inside my body and I'm already crying on a public treadmill (and again right now writing about it) because someday my kids will leave me.
Hormones: I beg of you to stop tormenting me.
10 comments:
I worry about what kind of MIL I'll be--especially where my son's hypothetical future wife is concerned. I don't want to send them screaming across the country trying to get away from me.
So yeah, I get it. :)
Oh, the hormones. I feel for your - they can make a person their slave!
Also, life just isn't as sweet without the "steal a cup" feature. Treat yourself to a new coffee maker!
Makes me want to cry too.
1. I would totally have cried about that, too. So touching! And it's so clearly on the path ahead of us! And it's probably going to feel like a SHORT path!
2. I totally identify with that "just buy a new one" vs "spoiled American" conflict. I laughed out loud because you put it so perfectly.
makes me happy and sad all at the same time, on the heals of our wonderful/first real family vacation.
I would probably have done the same thing. And I'm NOT pregnant.
I have a pretty boring coffeemaker you can have, if you'd like.
And I started crying reading that overheard conversation - my kids won't need me someday? Ouch.
See? There's ANOTHER good reason NOT to work out! : )
Holy crap. :)
Reminds me to enjoy every moment with my little buggers. No wishing away their less than stellar moments because those are part of the package...part of this limited time we have with just our kids!
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