Why, hello there

It feels like ages since I've posted. In this case, ages = one week. Another thing akin to dog years, I think. I've either been in full sprint mode or cannot peel myself off the couch to put two sentences together mode all week, wishing allthewhile it was a la mode. Ha! I think I stole that from some witty commenter. Who's to say a dorky and fabulous comment can't be reused?

So, a few things to catch you up to speed:

*Today happens to be the 4th anniversary of Justin's sister, Amanda (aka: Mando, Auntmando, Zoogabooga) and her hubby, Rich. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I couldn't find a card that said congrats on not killing each other for a whole 1,460 days! I jest, I jest. Seriously, Happy Anniversary, you two crazy kids in love. They were married less than 8 weeks after I gave dramatic birth to Coco in our backyard. The wedding, not the birth, was in the backyard - had you goin', didn't I? So it was a wedding in July. In Phoenix. Outside. If my kids are crazy, we're totally blaming HIS side. It was actually really beautiful, only moderately miserable and nobody could say I told you so to the bride, much to our dismay.

*Last weekend Holly and I spent two nights at a local resort compliments of my husband for my birthday months ago. He actually gave me a gift certificate to the spa there, but found out that once the weather is nice enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, I could trade it in for a room... and really, a massage is glorious but nothing beats the glory of escaping my resident short people for 40 hours. I do love alone time, but thought it would be even more fun to invite a friend so I had someone to laugh with/at me while mildly inebriated. And boy howdy, I was right. We did nothing: quite literally nothing. Just laid by the pool drinking mojitos, watched bad tv, read books, magazines and cantina signage, attempted to nap, ordered room service... rinse, lather, repeat. And we did not take one. single. picture. I think the blog police may have my blogging license revoked for that.

*Mary has had a bad case of 'roid rage (coined by Robyn, who has had her own little rager). She was put on a five day stint of steroids as a last ditch effort to not have to put tubes in her ears (I'm not sure it worked). Apparently, some kids act much like muscle bound hotheads in need of a dumbbell when given the stuff. The 'tude on that kid has about done me in, which is largely why I've been unable to peel myself off of the couch and do anything but mumble incoherently. I'm sure everyone is thrilled about the continuing saga of the ear infection that would not die. Stay tuned!

*This morning Gracie came along and crossed off the days on my calendar until next Thursday. I am quite mentally slow every time I glance over there and have to concentrate - hard - on who/what/where am I and have found myself wishing I were a member of that recently discovered undiscovered Amazon tribe. I bet they never get all screwed up because somebody crosses off the days on their calendar.

*A tenant vacated a rental property of ours all sneaky like in the dead of night a couple of weeks ago. And was so kind to leave meat in the fridge, turn off utilities and I'm sure is somewhere cackling right now about how she got those horrible landlords who didn't want her living there free for months on end. The inside temp was nearly 100 degrees and I'm sure you can imagine the synergistic effect that meat and heat bring. Maggots, people. Maggots everywhere. Meanwhile, Justin's the lucky guy who has been spending every day off cleaning up maggots. He bolted upright in bed last night screaming, "NO MORE MAGGOTS!!!" That was for dramatization purposes, but it certainly could happen, what with all of the maggots he's recently been subjected to. How many times can I use the word maggots in a post and not throw up a little in my mouth? Apparently one less than I did. Oh! And! She left an active leak which soaked the bathroom, hall and bedrooms so we had to get an all night restoration crew in. Bye bye $1,000. Minimally. Maybe another time I will tell you the tale of tenants so great the latest they've paid is a week early. But for now, curses upon rotten tenants. The restraint I'm showing by not posting her name and social security number is really quite remarkable, if I do say so myself.

*I gave Coco a haircut myself. And it's cute! I took her to one of those kid cut places where they pop in a dvd to distract the kids and minimize the squirming and screaming. I drove there, unloaded everybody, signed in, killed some time and then saw the little girl who had just gotten her hair cut by the one "stylist" there. I asked the little girl if she would turn around and let me see her haircut and although I was a little distracted by the mom was eyeballing the weirdo making her daughter spin around, I did make out some serious crookedness. I thought I could cut hair with probably the same if not less crookedness and save myself $15 (the gas money required to get home). So we bolted and I did and am happy to report it is significantly less crooked than that of the woman who evidentially went to beauty school for three days or so. The last time I attempted to cut somebody's hair was Justin's when we first got married. I'm surprised we're still married after how he had to walk around for a month. Now he doesn't let me anywhere near him with scissors. Once in a while I get to pluck a mutant eyebrow hair, though, so all is right with the world.

As much as I enjoy reminiscing the past week, I really must go finish some laundry. Who, me, laundry? Farewell (sob). I hope to see you again real soon.